Relief

So I felt I had waited long enough to speak my piece...I just said, "Here's my deal...blah blah blah..."  I just laid it all on the line and said to dear hubby that I only would want to do insemination using donor sperm if he was 1000% positive he would be okay with it, and without batting an eyelash, he said, "Well, we were considering adoption so this wouldn't be any different.  At least it would be half ours."  I absolutely love this man.  To him, a child who is biologically mine and not his would be "half ours".  I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear him say those words.  All fear and doubt and thoughts of future resentment or regret went right out the window into the breeze!  He said it really doesn't matter to him and that he agrees that it's who raises the child.  He told me that he would still love it and care for it because it would be "ours". 

Now I just need to call the clinic to schedule a sonohystogram...a procedure that involves using sterile water piped through a thin catheter to fill the uterus while an ultrasound tech looks around for any blockages or uninviting abnormalities that would interfere with pregnancy or implantation.  I had one done a year ago and although it was supposed to be relatively painless, I wanted to die!  The nurse told me it would feel like period cramps...yeah right, more like cramps times 1000!!  It was terrible and I was alone and crying and I hated it.  But the good news at that time was that my doctor felt that, even though I have two fibroids in my uterus, it shouldn't be anything to interfere.  I want to have another one done just to be on the safe side...no point in spending money for a procedure that is destined for failure!  My doctor feels that it would be beneficial as well to redo the procedure. So first thing tomorrow, I will schedule my appointment and get the ball rolling. 

As of now, the plan will be thus:
1. Sonohystogram
2. Providing the above procedure shows no inhibitions, proceed with Clomid to induce hyperovulation
3. While on Clomid, choose several donors and order the vials to be delivered to my clinic
4. Through ultrasound and home test kit monitoring, proceed with the insemination process when the time is right in my cycle
5. Keep finger crossed and hope for the best

In the event the above procedure gives us bad news, we then will move on with whatever we can.

I'm just very relieved!!  :D  And I hope we can make this happen!