For Anyone Still Keeping Tabs...

Thanksgiving 2012 ~ 13 months old

Wearing the same turkey bib as last year  :)

(see post for size comparison!)

Change is proving to be good

My first week of work is over and my second week has begun.  It is going pretty well, considering the overload of information that has NOTHING whatsoever to do with my career and licensure.  Sonny is doing very well at daycare (whew!!) and that makes me much happier when I have to leave him.  I'm so very glad he's getting used to other people taking care of him.  He's doing okay these days, but he fights sleep like crazy during the day which makes for a VERY cranky baby who is hard to put down around 5pm!  And tonight, he screamed and cried like someone was stabbing him for at least 45 minutes and almost made himself puke, which he has never done before...not this close.  He was so stiff and the way he was crying made me think something was wrong with him and all I could think (as tears of complete helplessness streamed down my face) is either his hernia opened up again or his intestine is perforated again.  I know, I shouldn't jump to conclusions but he hasn't acted like this since before his hernia surgery and even then, he was never this bad for me.  I took his clothes off because he felt pretty hot, took his temp...normal.  Changed his diaper, although I knew that wasn't what was bothering him because he doesn't scream when he needs changing.  Hubby even brought a small bottle, bless him, even though he had just eaten a little over an hour before that.  It was in-sane!!  I didn't know what to do and as I rocked him, with both of us crying, hubby told me to go eat and he would take him.  That is HUGE.  Normally, he can't handle Harrison crying inconsolably but I think he wanted to give me a break and the fact that I couldn't even get him to settle down said volumes to him.  I ate, still crying, losing my appetite more and more with each scream my son made but managed to eat a little and eventually, hubby got him to settle down a bit.  I tried praising him so he can see that he CAN do it, just needs to be persistent.  I could tell Sonny was super tired and he was definitely not all for going to bed yet because every time hubby walked into his room (that had the shades down), he would start crying again.  I'm sure it's a combination of things.  His prevacid compound makes him terribly gassy, especially late afternoon, and I know it causes him a lot of discomfort and makes him cranky.  Plus, he might be in need of some quality mommy and daddy time, after his first week of daycare.  He's sleeping now...in my arms; I allowed him the splurge tonight to let him know Mommy is still here.

As a follow up to the Mama Cloth...I ended up finding some PIMPs at a local co-op and got some just in time for my period to start.  First impression?  Love at first snap!!  And...my period lasted a whopping 3 days.  Yep.  Three.  Tres.  Not nine.  Three.  :)  And holy comfy!!  I was afraid the cotton ones wouldn't feel soft enough but I like the flannel and cotton equally.  It feels...just like you're wearing your undies!  :)  I love them and they washed up very nicely with my other laundry.  And guess what?  No smellies, either.  I'm gonna chalk this one up as a WIN!

Side Note

I accepted a new full time job offer today and will start next week, leaving Sonny at daycare for the first time...commence sobbing!

Mama's gone crazy!

Wow, it's been quite an absence and if I filled you in on everything that has happened since December, it would  literally be the longest post in blogging history.  I will say, though, that my dear son has some nasty reflux (despite medications) and battled an awful, huge inguinal hernia that caused him to scream all day...every day...for 2 months straight.  Now that it's fixed, he's like a different baby; he's happy, he greets me in the morning with many adorable smiles, and is "talking" up a storm!  However, the hernia/pain screaming has been replaced by separation anxiety when Mommy leaves for the store; he even screams when I'm standing right next to whoever's holding him...it's not good enough to be next to him, I have to hold him.  So.  I have a Mama's boy.  Inevitable when you spend all day with one person for 3 straight months; I lost my job while I was still on maternity leave so I haven't had to put him in daycare yet and because of his "preemie" status and the fact it's RSV season, we don't go out much.  Hubby helps a little when he can, usually on the weekends for the middle of the night feedings, but with spring here, he's had a lot to do outside after work and on the weekends so it's still just Sonny and Mommy, for the most part.

So other than going insane for the duration of his pain screaming (I literally cried about as much as he did because for awhile, we didn't know what was wrong with him and it was so frustrating not being able to comfort my child), let's get to the crazy part.  We cloth diaper Sonny.  Not so crazy, lots of people do it, and really---can you blame them?  It's freakin' adorable!  And the more I learn about all the chemicals that make disposables "absorbent", the more "crunchy" I want to become...for Sonny's sake.  It's totally easy, I actually look forward to doing the laundry (just the diapers, not the rest of the laundry lol); the hardest part is deciding which cute diaper to have him wear next...and resisting the urge to buy every cute one you see!

Speaking of buying...I was on my diaper manufacturer's website the other day, browsing through all their categories, when I stumbled on something in the Mama category that I hadn't paid attention to before: Mama cloth.  Okay, so I knew cloth menstrual pads existed but I've never given them another look because my first instinct had gotten the better of me..."eww".  (Same thing with those "Instead Cups"...*shudder*)  But the more I thought about it, the more intrigued I became; much like when I had stumbled onto cloth diapers and was surprised how modern they had become without the general public's knowledge.  So I decided to ask the owner more about them.  For instance...how do they work and what the heck are the snaps for?!  What about washing?  Etc., etc.  I also decided to get good ole Google in on the action and came across someone by the name of TarotLadyLissa, who not only writes her own blog, but has a slew of YouTube videos--many of which review different Mama Cloth options.  I was hooked.  Instantly.  I spent the entire afternoon...and part of the next day...researching what kinds people liked.  There are a TON of options!  Some are made by larger companies, others by SAHMs who sell them on Hyenacart or Etsy; they vary in price and quality, but I was on a mission...to find something I like and TRY IT!  One of the brands Lissa reviews is called Party In My Pants (or PIMPs, as they're affectionately called); they allow you a free pantyliner to try cloth for the cost of shipping ($3.99).  So what if I don't like it?  Then I bought myself a new dust cloth, right?  Anyway, upon further investigation of this company, I'm finding more and more that I really like about them...and come to find out, they're based right here in WI!  "Up north".  :)

So if you haven't Googled "mama cloth" or PIMPs yet, you should.  You will be totally amazed by them, first of all because of the style and colors!  And second, when you learn how easy it is (like cloth diapering), you're going to want to do it!  Remember those chemicals I was talking about in the disposables??  Same concept with pads, my friends.  One difference between diapers and pads, though, is that one chemical was outlawed for use in pads and tampons because of its contribution to TSS...but it's STILL used in diapers!  Gross!!  Many women who have switched to Mama Cloth report far lighter periods and much less cramping; if they have to use disposables for one cycle for some reason, they're back to heavy flow and pain!  Something about those chemicals reacts with our bodies in a really horrible way and I don't want any part of it anymore!  I'm hoping to have some sort of Mama Cloth stash by the next period because I just don't want to wait any longer!  (And don't want those plasticky, chemical-laden time bombs on my lady parts anymore, either!!---in some cases, you can be sure they're to blame for infertility.)

Okay, so this STILL ended up the longest blog entry in history, and with that...I close.  I'll try to keep updated MUCH more frequently.  Hope all is well in BlogLand!!  Happy Easter, everyone!

Happy Holidays!

Greetings, blog lemmings!  Without going into too much detail about the past few days (I have a squawking son upstairs who wants some attention...), the transition from NICU environment to home is proving to be challenging for Sonny, especially at night...which proves challenging for US in the sleep department.  He grunts, as most preemies do; Googling "preemie grunting" isn't nearly sufficient enough to grasp what it sounds like...so in a nutshell, it sounds like he's trying to poop 24/7.  But I'm hoping once we get a routine down at home that things will smooth out.  Quick update: as of today's pediatrician appointment, Sonny is tipping the scales at 5 lbs. 2 oz.!  (A 5 ounce gain since Friday!!)  He's quickly growing too long for his preemie sleepers and soon won't fit in them "girth-wise" either.  Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas or happiest of holidays if you don't celebrate.  Cheers!

Looks like Blogger won't let me turn the picture, so you'll just have to turn your heads!  lol
Sonny at nearly 39 weeks gestation; 65 days old.

Elation...and disbelief

In summary...SONNY'S COMING HOME!!!!   I can't put my feelings into words because I'm still trying to process it.  I'm so excited!  I'm not nervous about taking care of him (changing diapers, getting him dressed, etc. because I do that now), but I'm sort of thinking...um, now what do we do?  He's been "on the outside" for 2 months (today!), and we've established our own routine.  But now that routine is changing.  We no longer have to drive 2 hours each day just to spend time with him.  We actually get to bring him home.  I can't describe how mind-blowing it is when you're in this situation; I sometimes still struggle with processing the fact I'm actually a parent, that I actually have a child, with everything we had to do to get here.

Right now, I'm making the proper announcements (aka-Facebooking! lol) and waiting not-so-patiently for hubby to get home from work.  Unfortunately, they're actually busy in the shop this week and he has a car he needs to have finished by Friday.  So he couldn't quite drop what he was doing today to pick Sonny up and probably won't get to take time off to be "our little family" until next week.  But in a sense...it won't be any different for him than it is now; right now (and for the past 2 months), he goes to work, sometimes comes home early, we eat (sometimes, depending on the time of day), and we go to the NICU.  Drive an hour, sign in, scrub up, give Sonny a bath if it's bath night, feed him and take turns loving him up, and then we drive an hour back home; unwind a bit (at 10pm...) and then go to sleep.  Rinse and repeat.  If hubby has to work the rest of the week, at least there's no driving and rushing around involved.  It's just come home and snuggle your son!  :)

How wonderful it is that our early Christmas miracle is coming home to be a true Christmas miracle!  Love it!!

Dodging bullets

After my emotional "episode" the other day, I decided to use my brain and be proactive regarding the cystic fibrosis possibility.  Duh---ask the sperm bank if the donors are tested for CF!  So I emailed them yesterday explaining Sonny's positive screening and that I was wondering if the donors are tested for it and if it's not him, then it's me that's the carrier.  I received a response this morning informing me that our donor was tested in 2009 and was negative for CF!!  So I'm assuming that I'm the culprit...well, I can be 100% sure I am; I'm a carrier of CF, which means one or both of my parents is, too, and their parent as well.  Funny how people can go a lifetime without knowing something like that; that until a situation such as this comes up, we are ignorant.  And it's not anyone's fault that they are ignorant; unless you actually have the disease, you would never have reason to believe you carry a gene that can cause it.

Anyway, I'm now feeling MUCH better about this.  It basically means he probably does not have CF, but could have children with it if he marries someone who is also a carrier.  Even then, the chance of having a child with CF for him in that situation are 1 in 4, but there is a chance.  We will still have him tested because the chances of him having CF even with only one parent as a carrier isn't zero, but is extremely low.

Now that little worry is over, how about a nice family photo to cheer us all up??

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, etc. etc.  Happiest of holidays to you all!