Hello, hello!

I'm sure I have a few of you on the edge of your seats because I'm several days late in posting any updates on Nugget.  There is a very good reason for this; several, in fact.  First, let me start by saying that Tuesday was our 3rd wedding anniversary and quite a memorable one at that.  I got up and started my day as usual and went to our weekly ultrasound in the morning.  The technician noticed the fluid was back down to around 7 or 8cm this week, which gave my doctor concern.  That and the fact that baby was still tiny, even though there was lots of movement and breathing.  She decided on the spot to admit me to the hospital across town for 24 hour IV fluids and fetal monitoring; it is known to be a great hospital for both mothers and babies.  Not exactly the way I wanted my husband and I to spend our anniversary, but obviously it was important to us to have them watch the baby.  Dr. H wanted to see if we could get the amniotic fluids up to a decent level and said there was no way she would send me home if there was so much as a doubt.  Wednesday morning came and Dr. H said that even though the fetal monitoring went okay during the night (despite a few deccelerations in the heartrate), she wanted to check on the fluid levels.  So a nurse took me down to the OB office for a fluid scan; the results, despite being hooked up to IV fluids for 24 hours, were disappointing.  The fluid was even worse than the day before, at only a 4.5.  At this point, Dr. H decided that it was best to keep me in the birth center being monitored and that it was probably only a matter of time before something went wrong.  I should mention that from Tuesday to Wednesday, they did a 24-hour urine collection on me to check for pre-eclampsia.  And sure enough, I have it; Dr. says I'm backwards in how it manifested.  Most of the time, women have high BP and protein in their urine and that leads to the diagnosis and management but if it doesn't get treated, fluid volume is low and growth is restricted.  So for me, it was the growth and fluid that showed up long before the other symptoms; my BP didn't get high until a week ago, which is why they never thought of it.  So Dr. H gave us 3 scenarios, all with the same outcome and as unpredictable as the last: if the fluid decreases, it's delivery time.  If baby's heartrate deccelerates for more than 2 minutes at a time or several shorter times in a given period, it's delivery time.  If my BP gets much more above 150, it's delivery time.  She told us that 2 weeks would be pushing it, but likely a week from then or less.

So at least we now have a reason why, it just sucks we couldn't do anything about it but it is what it was meant to be.  Tuesday's diagnosis: severe pre-eclampsia.  I was given two choices for progression: I could either be taken off the monitor for 6 hours to get some good sleep or they could give me an Ambien to help me get some rest but stay on the monitor.  I don't think I have to tell you which option I chose; I was NOT going to risk a decceleration without anyone knowing about it just so I could get some shut-eye.

Wednesday's happenings: I woke up after having a combined total of 2 hours of sleep with a tightness in my chest and a slight cough but chalked it up to anxiety.  Who wouldn't, given the circumstances?  Knowing there is a very real possibility that you won't be going home from the hospital without having given birth really messes with your psyche.  The cough and chest heaviness got worse throughout the day and I persisted with the nurses that something wasn't right about it.  I couldn't breathe and when I did breathe in and out, it was a wheezing.  Finally, one of the night nurses listened to me and decided to page Dr. H for her opinion; she wanted me down to CT immediately to rule out a pulmonary embolism (even though they had me wearing those nice fancy compression thigh highs!).  I'm not going to go into details about what having that dye injected into your veins feels like, but it's not pleasant, especially after getting hardly any sleep in two days plus only being able to lay a certain way because the monitor doesn't work if you don't.  After the CT was done, and the results were read by the radiologist, they were forwarded to Dr. H and she called to talk to me at around midnight.  Turns out I have pneumonia.  Seriously??  Dr. said it was beyond rare that a person is admitted and hospitalized for one thing and treated for something completely different!  Cue antibiotics and even more worry and stress!  She said it didn't look too bad on the CT so we had caught it early.

Thursday went by slowly and painfully and I was told that I'd go in for a growth scan (normally done by Dr. J) and fluid eval on Friday afternoon.  This is where it gets extremely scary.  My mom called me earlier in the day to see if I wanted her to come up; I said I wasn't sure because I was just really exhausted from lack of sleep and the pneumonia, but it was up to her.  My appointment was set for 2:30pm and hubby was taking a half day off work so he could come up sometime in the afternoon.  I told him that I'd let him know if he needed to get there any sooner.  I was just being wheeled out of my room when hubby and his mom showed up; if they'd left 1 minute later, things would have gone very differently.  MIL stayed behind in my room while hubby accompanied me to the ultrasound.  Remember that on Tuesday, the fluid level measured around 7-8, Wednesday was 4.5; I've had this scan done enough times to know where to look for the combined total of fluid when they measure and also what it looks like in the womb when there isn't much.  I couldn't believe my eyes or ears.  My precious child had only 0.8cm of fluid left in just a matter of days, despite our best efforts to keep me hydrated and rested.  The body measurements also suggested Nugget weighed 1 lb. 12 oz...two weeks prior, had measured 1 lb. 14 oz.  I started crying and hubby got teary-eyed too, because we knew what this meant.  The one tech who was helping the other paged Dr. H and gave her the report.  There was also no diastolic rhythm coming from the cord.  Dr. asked to talk to hubby, but I didn't need to hear what was being said.  This baby needs to come out today and not just today...right now. 

Words cannot describe the emotions we were going through and are still suffering from even now.  We left the OB office and were wheeled back to the birth center, but instead of going back to my room (where my MIL was still waiting), we went the other way directly into the pre-op area to be prepped for emergency c-section.  My MIL didn't know what was going on, I had told my own mother I didn't know if I wanted her to come that day and now I wasn't going to have a chance to tell her what was happening.  And even scarier, my husband just barely got there in time for all this.  From the time of the end of the ultrasound to my sweet baby being delivered was a little over an hour.  There wasn't time to process it but we were terrified.  This is the first time I've seen my brave husband weep openly.  Even though all the nurses over those few days reassured me our Peanugget was going to be just fine if we had to deliver, nothing but worry and dread of the possibilities flooded our minds.  Hubby was given scrubs to put on and was allowed to inform his mother what was happening while I was getting my spinal.  Neither hubby nor MIL was able to reach my mom; her phone went right to voicemail each time they tried. 

The section itself was very different from what I expected.  I knew I'd feel pressure but man, was there pressure!  I'm wondering if the urgency had a lot to do with it as well; I cried out more than a few times as parts of me were being shoved aside and hoisted. The anesthesiologist kept us informed of what Dr. H was doing and what I should be feeling, but neither of us has been that scared in our lives.  It wasn't until I heard Dr. H say, "Oh what a cutie!", then heard suctioning and the most beautiful sound, my baby's first cry, that I relaxed just a bit.  I started sobbing (into the oxygen mask, no easy task).  The NICU team worked on baby at the side of the room while Dr. H finished up my section.  She delived the placenta and also took out the fibroids that were in my uterus.  Still so much pressure that it was really very uncomfortable.  I never see the women on TV react the way I did to it all, and it makes me wonder why.  I'm not a wimp, I can tolerate a fair amount of pain. 

The NICU doctor let hubby go over and cut the cord and then wrapped baby like a burrito and let me and hubby each give Nuggie a kiss before they took him away.  Hubby was able to accompany them to the NICU while I was finishing my surgery.  It felt like forever and was probably a good hour before I was taken back to my room where my MIL was waiting.  Hubby and I received quite a shock when the NICU doctor came in to my room to let us know how baby was doing.  She started by saying, "I know you thought you were having a girl..."  Seriously?  Seriously.  Not a baby girl, but a baby son instead!  Guess I'll be trying to take back a LOT of clothes without tags...  Harrison Gabriel was born 10/21/11 around 4:30pm, weighing in at 2 lbs. 0.5 ounces and 13" long at just 29 weeks +3 days gestation. 

Mommy's first touch with Baby Sonny :)

He's an adorable little squeaker; Dr. Hans (NICU) said he was breathing on his own pretty well at birth but they always put a breathing tube in right away just in case.  He didn't need it very long and they haven't had to put him on any extra oxygen since he was born yesterday afternoon; in fact, NICU staff told us they decreased the flow today.  And he's feeding well through the tiny tube that goes down his throat.  Even though today was the first time I've been able to see him in person, I've started pumping and every drop is crucial for him; they take what I make and supplement with formula and the things he needs to start growing.  So far, I've only produced a few drops but with time, I will be able to fully supply his needs.  Studies have shown that babies given even just a few drops of breastmilk while in the NICU have a higher rate of survival and health.  Before the surgery, we were told that given Nuggie's gestational age and how well he does on his ultrasounds and how much he moves and breathes, that he would have an over 90% survival rate as well as chance of no long-term issues.  As far as I know, they have completed the usual tests and haven't said anything regarding any issues.  I will be asking them tomorrow when I go for a visit.  Today's visit was so precious; I just hate that I am still weak and can't stand for long periods of time.  I felt like didn't spend long enough with him for my first time, but I know that he shouldn't be overstimulated either.  Tomorrow, I'll go and stare at him a lot.  He does have a very cute button nose, by the way.  :) 

Friday was just such a whirlwind of activity and news and it was overwhelming to all of us.  My parents didn't get our message that we were having the baby until they were at dinner...which, my some miracle, they decided to have nearby rather than an hour away back home.  It seems as though we all had a feeling in some way or another.  I nested last week and made sure the diaper bag, entertainment bag, and hospital bag were ready to go in case hubby needed to grab them if I was admitted after an appointment (which is what happened).  There's a reason my specialist told me he wanted me to have the steroid shots at 29 weeks.  It's an incredible thing that most of us must have just known deep down.  And even more incredible is when I consider how lucky I really am to have been going for checkups twice weekly.  If I hadn't gone Tuesday, what would've happened to my sweet boy?  I never had any contractions (barely even any Braxton-Hicks), no gush of fluid or breaking of water.  I wouldn't have had the steroids to develop the lungs yet, either.  Thinking of these things and the timing they had erases any doubt in my mind that Harrison (Sonny) was meant for us, and meant for us now instead of in December.  He has been a blessing from the start and he is even more so now.  Wow.  I have a son!  :)  I am a mommy!  Tears of joy as I write this now; and many thanks to God for bringing him to us.  When I see him, I know he's tiny.  But he looks strong; like a fighter.  He has some work to do, but hopefully we can hold him soon and take him home for Christmas.  Our little miracle son.