Hystero-what??

Yesterday was officially Day One of my cycle!!  I called the office informing them of Day One, made the xray appointment for next Thursday that will check for blockages and abnormalities, and picked up my prescription for Clomid---$45 for 8 (EIGHT!) pills.

I'm not yet sure how to feel about the appointment for next week.  Last year, the procedure I had done (a sonohysterogram) wasn't supposed to be painful and it ended up being totally excruciating.  I was all alone (because I thought it wasn't a big deal), nobody to hold my hand, tears streaming from my closed eyes, just trying to breathe and go to my happy place.  They said it would feel like period cramps...WRONG!  Period cramps times a thousand---probably because of all the stupid foreign masses that have attached themselves where they don't belong!  It is my understanding that the procedure he'd like to do this time is a hysterosalpingogram (HSG); a procedure that includes the delivery of radioactive dye into the uterine cavity as well as the fallopian tubes in order to xray the area checking for blockages, abnormalities or growths, and the shape of the uterus---all things that can obviously interfere with getting or staying pregnant.  The HSG is advertised as being "somewhat uncomfortable", which is what worries me.  The first one I had wasn't supposed to hurt and it did.  This one IS supposed to hurt...what in God's good name am I in for?

I know it's necessary and because of that, I want it done so we can know what's there and move on.  But I'm afraid of what they'll find...although I know they'll find more fibroids.  Since my surgery to remove the tennis ball-sized one 8 years ago, I have developed two new ones; last year, the largest one was about the size of a quarter which doesn't seem to be a nuisance until you consider the uterus is only the size of your fist!  I am terrified that our baby-making plans will have to be put on hold; I'm not so much afraid of being told I'll need surgery to remove or fix something which would delay us for a few months---I'm afraid of being told it's totally not going to work and the 3 vials of donor sperm we have paid for and are waiting for us will be a complete waste. 

Until next week, I can just hope it will go smoothly and take it as it comes.  Dear hubby will be going with me this time (and he WILL hold my hand!), which is wonderful.  I thought it might be better that he comes just in case we get news that day or they need to discuss things with us.  Much easier having him there right away instead of having to report it and talk about it later.

So, here's the agenda for the week:
*Saturday (Day Three)---Start Clomid, 2 pills daily until gone, taking me through Tuesday evening
*Thursday morning---arrive in Appleton for HSG heavily medicated and numb!  Okay, maybe not...I'll tough it out.  Although, I think an Advil or two might be acceptable.

Here's a link to a very good website describing the procedure:
http://www.advancedfertility.com/hsg.htm


Until next week, campers...